14th October 2014: We’ll end arthritis pain vow doctors
Jolly good. What is the miracle cure this time?
Doctors have vowed to find an effective treatment to halt the crippling condition.
They said every victim has the right to have their pain properly managed and demand that more is done to discover powerful new treatments to stem the agony that millions face every day.
8th October 2014: Arthritis cure on the way.
I bet there’s a catch and a “could”….
Millions of Britons could be spared the agony of crippling arthritis pain after a major breakthrough by scientists.
Researchers from the University of Texas Health Science Centre in the US, have used a combination of small molecules to generate mouse cells that can form bone and cartilage.
More mouse health news.
They say the new method could allow them to re-grow broken bones and mend cartilage damage to back discs and joints.
Blah blah blah could, maybe blah blah ….
Stephen Simpson, director of research at charity Arthritis Research UK said: “This is an interesting study with promising results, shedding light on ways that stem cells can be encouraged to develop into cartilage cells. However, further research will be required before we can know whether this specific approach will be suitable for repairing human bone and cartilage damage.”
Conclusion: It could work for mice.
7th October 2014: Honeysuckle drink fights off flu
Hurrah! Something that will fight off flu! No more flu!
A potent drink made from honeysuckle extract could be the key to protecting against winter flu.
Hang on! That’s another ruddy typical Express mislead in the headline. You buggers.
Experts from Nanjing University School of Life Sciences in China say their finding could lead to a simple way to protect against all “influenza A viruses”, including the ones which trigger Britain’s annual winter flu outbreaks.
"Could." Always a “could.”
If the new discovery proves effective in humans, a huge number of lives could be saved by people protecting themselves with a regular drink, much in the way that people take a probiotic drink each day to boost good bacteria in the gut.
So it could be the key to fighting flu and might work on humans but it’s not been tested an any? Totally deserving of its lead story status.
They found that, when mice were given a decoction - a boiled concentration of honeysuckle - it directly blocked viral infection, preventing it from striking.
I think we need the comment of an actual grown-up now.
Professor John Oxford, Britain’s leading flu expert, said the results were “interesting stuff” but that it was a long way from being of use to beat flu in humans.
26th September 2014: Spicy diet can beat dementia.
Hurrah! Another way to beat dementia!
A spicy diet could hold the key to beating Alzheimer’s disease.
Oh. The disappointment came quickly with this one.
Scientists have discovered that an ingredient in the spice turmeric, used in curries, could help repair patients’ brains. Oil isolated from it can trigger the rapid growth of stem cells and their development into neurons, which the brain uses to process and transmit information.
The breakthrough paves the way for the creation of new drugs which could potentially treat a host of cruelly debilitating conditions from dementia to stroke.
What a lot of “could”s.
In laboratory tests, researchers found aromatic turmerone, one of two main compounds in turmeric, boosted the production of brain cells in rats by up to 80 per cent. And injections of oil produced from the compound led to growth in two key brain regions. The human brain naturally contains stem cells that will trigger a regenerative response following injury such as stroke. But this regeneration is incomplete in adults.
Ah, the “up to…” figure and the tests on rats! Such scientific accuracy.
So scientists are trying to develop treatments which will activate the stem cells and effectively allow the brain to repair itself.
I wonder what the actual qualified person from the related organisation has to say about this?
Dr Laura Phipps, of Alzheimer’s Research UK, said: “This early stage study highlights the effects of aromatic turmerone in rat brains but the findings are a long way from determining whether this compound could help fight diseases like Alzheimer’s.”
“We need to see further studies and until then people shouldn’t take this as a sign to stock up on supplies of turmeric for the spice rack.”
15th September 2014: Dairy diet to beat diabetes
A high fat diet packed with butter, cream, whole milk and cheese could hold the key to beating diabetes.
Could it? Well, it could. But it also could not…
Researchers in Sweden found that people who eat eight or more portions a day of high fat dairy products are 23 per cent less likely to be struck by Type 2 diabetes than those who consume just one portion.
I thought eating high fat products was generally unhealthy, espcially when relating to diabetes as it seems to be associated with being ovedrweight but I do not work for The World’s Greatest Newspaper and am not the boffin woman quote in this latest miracle….
… she added that “meat intake was associated with increased risk of developing diabetes regardless of fat content”.
I could say she would say that. I did just say that,
Skip to the reliable other person quote section:
Dr Richard Elliot, Diabetes UK’s research communications manager, said: “This study adds to research which suggests that different sources of fat in the diet affect the risk of Type 2 diabetes in different ways. This does not mean that adding high-fat dairy products to your diet will help to protect against Type 2 diabetes.”
“Consumption of dairy products can form part of a healthy diet but it’s important to be aware of the amount as they can be high in calories which can contribute to becoming overweight and increase your risk of Type 2 diabetes.”
We’re trapped in a loop!
“More research will be needed before we change our advice that you should cut your risk of Type 2 diabetes by maintaining a healthy weight through increased physical activity and a balanced diet low in salt, saturated fat and sugar and rich in fruit and vegetables.”
So it’s the same advice as usual then? Healthy diet and exercise and not reading the Express.
13th September 2014: How to beat agony of migraine.
It’s been AGES since the last miracle cure as the Express have been mostly doing racist front pages about Europe, Muslims and basically anyone who is not a typical Express reader. Lovely. So what about this latest press release headline and where has Express Health Supremo Jo Willey gone?
Daily meditation could help 8m conquer pain of migraines.
Not a miracle pill? Really? I miss Jo Willey.
DAILY meditation may be the most effective way of tackling migraine.
MAY be. Here we go.
Researchers found those who meditated had migraines that were shorter and not as bad as ones they usually experienced.
11th August 2014: New arthritis hope for millions
Just like the pension joy / misery is always "for millions" in Expressland, the latest nonsense for their arthritic readers is also on an epic scale. But is it really?
British experts have found a natural material, previously only seen in horses, in the hip joints of patients. It forms sharp, dense fragments that grind away healthy cartilage, making the condition worse. Some 8.5 million Britons suffer osteoarthritis, the most common form of the condition. It is caused by wear and tear on joints where the cartilage that cushions movement is worn away. Bones then come into contact with each other and the friction makes joints swollen and extremely painful.
Excellent! Thanks, horsey bone material. When’s the cure?
At the moment, treatments only relieve the symptoms.
Bugger. What did the boffins actually discover?
“We have discovered a previously unrecognised mechanism of cartilage destruction in human hip joints. This discovery could certainly lead to new treatments.”
So the treatments only relieve the symptoms and the boffins say the discovery could lead to new treatments? Oh Express, you let us down again!
Natalie Carter, head of research liaison and evaluation at Arthritis Research UK, said: “We were excited to hear about the research developments in Professor Gallagher’s lab.”
At least the Obligatory Other Person Quote is positive…
“Arthritis Research UK funds research into musculoskeletal conditions, including a number of rare diseases. Although these conditions affect a smaller number of people they can be very severe. One clear message from the research led by Professor Gallagher is that there is value in researching these rarer disorders as they can reveal insights into other more common diseases. This research provides hope for people living with the pain of osteoarthritis in the UK, as well as other rarer conditions.”
1st August 2014: New hope for cancer cure.
This one is not written by Chief Health Press Release Copy & Paster Jo Willey; they got Politics Press Release Reader Macer Hall to do it insted because it’s actually political bollocks instead of health bollocks…
The NHS is set to become a world leader in the fight against cancer, David Cameron will predict today. Britain will drive cutting-edge research as a result of a £300million funding boost to be unveiled by the Prime Minister. The spin-offs are likely to transform the way cancer and other life-threatening conditions are diagnosed and treated, bringing new hope to families across the country.
I see the vague language of the miracle cure headline stories also applies to their political stories.
Creepy arse-licking Cameron quote: “I believe we will be able to transform how devastating diseases are diagnosed and treated while supporting our best scientists to discover the next wonder drug or breakthrough technology.”
So , when will there be a miracle cure?
Health chiefs hope the work will prepare for genomics-based medicine to become everyday practice across the NHS.
30th July 2014: Five-a-day will add years to your life.
Following on from Monday’s "2 minutes exercise will stop you ageing", we have another time-twisting life-changing miracle.
Five portions of fruit and veg a day is the “magic number” for a long and healthy life. Sticking to the advice cuts the risk of an early death and protects against heart disease and cancer, new research has found.
If life expectancy was purely down to yer fruit-n-veg then I would do a cheer. But its not.
Chinese and American researchers said that eating a large amount of fruit and vegetables had a dramatic impact on lowering the risk of death from all causes, particularly heart disease.
Hurrah! What else do we know about the science?
Last year, Spanish scientists at the Andalusian School of Public Health’s Granada Cancer Registry found that people who ate 569 grams of fruit and veg a day – the equivalent of 7.1 portions – reduced their risk of premature death by 10 per cent and lived on average one year and 44 days longer. The reduction in the risk of dying from heart disease was even higher at 15 per cent. The study said that more than four per cent of heart deaths could be prevented by consuming more than five-a-day. Eating just portions of fruit did not significantly cut the risk, but vegetables alone did. Raw vegetables reduced the risk of premature death by 16 per cent.
That’s all very nice but not exactly in the miracle cure category.
Victoria Taylor, senior dietitian at the British Heart Foundation, said: “This study is another reminder that fruit and vegetables shouldn’t be an after-thought but an essential part of our meals and snacks.”
Thanks for that wisdom, boffin.
28th July 2014: 2 minutes exercise will stop you ageing.
Now call me cynical but this may turn out to be a load of old bollocks…
British experts say a quick blast of activity staves off the ravages of time and makes for a fit and healthy old age. People aged over 60 in a trial group transformed their lives by cutting blood pressure and improving performance in everyday tasks. Exercising for 60 seconds twice a week over a month and a half helped physical fitness and lowered their chance of suffering a heart attack or stroke.
So far so ‘doing healthier things makes you more healthy’ but no mention of yer actual stopping the ageing process.
How did this latest miracle work?
Each session consisted of six-second all-out sprints on an exercise bike with each participant fitted with a heart rate monitor throughout. The number of sprints in each session was progressively increased over the course of the trial from six to 10 sets of six-second sprints. A minimum of one minute recovery time was allowed between each sprint, and participants were not allowed to start sprinting again until their heart rate had gone back down to below 120 beats per minute.
OK, but how did that stop the ageing process?
The researchers found the “functional capacity” – the ability of those those doing the HIT to get up off a chair or walk six metres – “significantly improved” by between 15 to 20 per cent. “This is the difference of, if someone knocks on the door, how quickly you can answer it. Being able to walk 50 metres is taking the shopping from the bus stop into the house. These all significantly improved which, for older people, is really important.”
Well yes but how did it stop the ageing process?
“We are not saying you need to do exercise every day. A little bit at higher intensity twice a week will see you get significant improvement.”
Of course, exercise is good, but how did it stop the ageing process?
Oh I give up. What did the Obligatory Other Quote say?
Caroline Abrahams, charity director at Age UK, said: “There is a really strong body of research that demonstrates the importance of exercise in later life. However it’s important to find the right exercise for you and to consult your GP.”
24th July 2014: Single jab to fight arthritis.
Let’s ignore the unfortunate headline / photo story juxtaposition and find out what this week’s arthritis ‘cure’ is all about…
The injection, which helps joints heal themselves, is already being tested on British patients. And researchers hope the cheap and quick procedure could be used to prevent the disease ever striking in the first place.
A "could"! Hurrah! All is well.
The technique involves coating damaged cartilage with stem cells taken from a patient’s own hip and mixed with surgical glue. When injected over the cartilage defect, the mixture regenerates the remaining tissue to create a permanent “like-for-like” replacement for the first time. The technique should cost just a few hundred pounds and could be widely used across the country within two years, said consultant orthopaedic surgeon Gorav Datta, of Southampton General Hospital, who is leading the research.
Should could yawn…what about the Oblligatory Other Quote?
Dr Stephen Simpson, director of research at Arthritis Research UK said: “This is an exciting study in what is a developing and hugely promising area of research. Replacing damaged cartilage with some grown from patients’ own stem cells could prevent or slow down the progression of early osteoarthritis and ultimately reduce or at least delay the need for joint replacement surgery.”
Now we know.
22nd July 2014: Yoghurt can cut blood pressure: Eat a pot a day to help save your life.
Hurrah, it can save lives! But can it really? …
Research leader Dr Jing Sun said: “The studies suggest regular consumption of probiotics can be part of a healthy lifestyle to help reduce high blood pressure, as well as maintain healthy blood pressure levels.”
Now call me literal but that’s not exaclty the same as the headline.
Probiotics with multiple bacteria lowered blood pressure more than those with a single bacteria, according to the research.
So no miracles from delicious fruity bitty regular pots?
Dr Sun said the studies of the effects tend to be small and that more research is needed before doctors can confidently recommend probiotics for high blood pressure control and prevention.
This it not looking liike a miracle cure at all….
Victoria Taylor, senior dietitian at the British Heart Foundation, said it was vital that everyone made efforts to keep their blood pressure in check.
Of course, but what about Miracle Yoghurt?
She said: “While this is an interesting review of the research, it’s too soon to start recommending probiotics for lowering blood pressure. We need more research to confirm the findings seen here. There are a number of well-established lifestyle changes that we can make to keep our blood pressure healthy. Eating less salt, more fruit and vegetables and being physically active and maintaining a healthy body weight are all tried and tested ways.”
So once again it actually comes down to adopting a healthy sensible lifestyle? I am so disppointed.
15th July 2014: Puzzles best way to fight dementia.
Another day, another familiar miracle headline.
Puzzles and crosswords could be the best way to beat dementia.
Oh. They COULD be the best way to best it. What are the chances?
What else does the Express say?
PLAY OUR BRILLIANT FREE PUZZLES AND GAMES NOW!
Let’s just cut to the other quote…
Dr Laura Phipps, of Alzheimer’s Research UK, said: “Observational studies like this are not able to pinpoint cause and effect but they can be useful for identifying factors that may influence our risk of memory decline and dementia. This study adds to the ongoing ‘use it or lose it’ debate.
Any other advice?
“The best evidence suggests that we can reduce our risk of dementia with a healthy lifestyle – eating a balanced, healthy diet, exercising regularly, not smoking and keeping blood pressure and weight in check.”
Like every other sodding miracle cure then.
14th July 2014: How to beat Alzheimer’s.
Other actual newspapers go with the World Cup Final but not The World’s Greatest Newspaper. Just get a press release from Jo Willey’s drawer…
Experts reveal seven lifestyle changes to help fight off disease
I bet I know what they are! The same as every other poxy story just like this one?
Millions could be saved from developing Alzheimer’s disease by making a few simple changes to their lifestyle, experts reveal today.
Let’s just skip to the end bit where they get someone less biased to coment, shall we? We all know how this goes by now….
Dr Simon Ridley, of Alzheimer’s Research UK, said: “While age is the biggest risk factor for most cases of Alzheimer’s, there are a number of lifestyle and general health factors that could increase or decrease a person’s chances of developing the disease.”
“This new analysis suggests many cases could be prevented by increasing physical activity, quitting smoking and altering diet to reduce the cases of diabetes.”
12th July 2014: Cheap pill to beat arthritis.
Hurrah! Another thing beaten…
A daily fish oil supplement could be the key to beating arthritis.
So does it beat it or is it just something that could beat it? These two options are quite different.
Scientists’ discovery – tested on mice – means that sufferers from osteoarthritis could transform their lives by taking the over-the-counter 20p supplement. The alternative is to boost the levels of omega 3 in the diet by eating more fish, nuts and seeds packed with the essential fat. Researchers in the US reached their conclusion after discovering osteoarthritis is linked more to diet than to body weight.
Not only is it just another “could” but it’s the return of the Miracle Mice!
Dr Farshid Guilak said: “Our results suggest that diet plays a more significant role than mechanical factors in the link between obesity and osteoarthritis. He and his team at Duke University Medical Centre, in North Carolina, studied mice with osteoarthritis of the knee caused by injury to the joint. Their research, published in the journal Annals Of The Rheumatic Diseases, suggests that unhealthy dietary fats – not just obesity – may make osteoarthritis worse.
Oh well. What did the less biased quoted person on the press release have to say?
Professor Alan Silman, medical director of Arthritis Research UK, said: “Research is increasingly confirming that omega 3 fatty acids sourced from fish oil can slow the progression of osteoarthritis in animals and that the benefits of fish oil for joint health are not simply old wives’ tales. “Most diets in the developed world are lacking in omega 3, with modern diets having up to 30 times too much omega 6 and too little omega 3.”
“Taking omega 3 could help redress this imbalance. However, we now need studies that confirm that it can also be effective in humans.”
Yes, I guess that might help.